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Welcome!!

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I’m a seasoned military spouse looking to show independent women that they can flourish while navigating the military community.

You’re a new military spouse, recently graduated and married to your high school/ college sweetheart.  You’re in a new town without your friends or family.  You’ve left your job that you loved (or at least liked) and now you’re struggling to find a job, any job, that will help you provide for your family that also works with your husband’s schedule. Your best friend (let’s face it, your only friend) is your husband and he is working ridiculous hours.  At best, he’s working 12 hour days, at worst you haven’t seen him since June.  You are in desperate need of some semblance of normalcy or even a friend.  But how do you find one of those?  Do you have to figure out what you even like in a friend?  What about what you like in you?

I get it.  Oh man, do I get it.  This was my life story 10 years ago.  And thanks to the military life cycle, sometimes it still is my life.

I have been navigating the military community as a spouse for the last 10 years.  I’ve been through 7 homes during that time period.  My husband has deployed 4 times and I count myself lucky that it hasn’t been more.  I have several degrees and am a stay at home mom.  That decision wasn’t easy… and sometimes it’s been downright costly.  Every few years (or 18 months) I find myself in a new house, in a new city with no friends.  I have to figure out how to participate within social groups within my husband’s unit, how to do things I like, how to be a decent mother, and how to do it all while it feels like the power isn’t entirely in my own hands.  Thanks Uncle Sam!

Every week you will find posts related to how I’ve managed to survive military life.  This will NOT be a spouse’s handbook.  These are my thoughts and opinions on everything I encounter.  From dressing for a military ball to joining the FRG to befriending non-milspouses.  But most of all, about being a person completely formed and well-rounded, independent from the military while carrying the knowledge that I have a Dependent ID.

Currently my family lives on post at a Fort Campbell.  I am 32 years old and I have two children, ages 3 and 9 months.  I am momming so fricken’ hard right now.  Between my threenager and trying to detach the baby from my hip, my days are FULL.  While many of my hobbies have fallen to the wayside, what I have not lost and plan on never losing is ZUMBA!!  Man, I love to shake my tail feather.  I even got licensed to instruct recently!!  The idea of leading my own Zumba dance party is terrifying and I’m sure I’m going to fall flat on my face, but I can’t wait to get going!!  I’ll admit that the decision to become licensed greatly focused on my desperate need to have something that was just mine.  Becoming a milspouse took away so much of my sense of self.  Mumming robbed me of what was left.  Volunteering, Zumba, and even this blog, are all my ways of reconstructing the badass that I used to be!

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29 thoughts on “Welcome!!

  1. It can definitely be hard being a military wife. You’ve moved a lot over the past 10 years which can be very stressful. But it could also be a great opportunity to see the world. Not to mention it’s a great opportunity to constantly write about new things on your blog, when you aren’t chasing kids. LOL. Good luck with your Zumba!

  2. I so appreciate you and your husbands service! I know it’s so hard so constantly be moving and adjusting to new places. Stick to your zumba girl! You’ll meet new people in no time.

  3. Yasss boo! Congrats on getting your Zumba license! And mad props to you for being a military wife and mama! That life is not for the weak and I’m hugging you and hi fiving you virtually!

  4. Hi Nicole!! So great to meet you! I’ve lived the Military Spouse life for 10 years as well… my hubby retired a few years back and the transition from military to civilian has been an adventure all it’s own. Thanks so much for sharing a bit about yourself…

  5. That would be so hard between not seeing your husband as much as you would like and all the moving! I am obsessed with Zumba too. It’s so much fun that the time flies. Good for you for getting your license!

  6. What a wonderful story! You are doing great with your life and the Zumba lessons along with the blog will keep you motivated! Having your own time is the best for yourself.

  7. It’s so cool that can teach Zumba! Talk about a connectivity tool. I can’t relate on moving frequently and being a military spouse, but I can surely empathize. Being a mom is an island unto itself, let alone going it by oneself for long stretches of time can be exhausting and lonely. You seem tough, though! Sending good vibes your way!

  8. Congrats on the Zumba license, I went to a class once, I have no dance skills at all. It was pretty bad! But at least you have that, now, to be your own thing. My youngest is currently a threenager too, and the attitude some days is astounding from such a little person!
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  9. We moved 3 times in the last 8 years so I kinda sorta know what a pain in the behind that can be. I can’t imagine what your moves must have been like! Plus the deployments plus the kids. You are a badass girl!

  10. What a great story! Thanks so much for the sacrifices you made as a military spouse; I know moving around regularly can’t be easy!

  11. Keep it up, babe! It’s so inspiring to see such a crazy lifestyle that you’re taking control of. And giving yourself something that’s just yours is amazing!

  12. What a beautiful blog idea! I would imagine that having a community for military wives is much needed. Thank you for being open in this post as well. Great job. 🙂

  13. Congrats on getting the license! I can’t imagine how tough it was to lose your sense of self but I’m glad you’re finding ways to deal with it! Some people might just sit and let it happen, but the fact that you’re doing something about it is already a really good step! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    1. Thank you! It took a really long time for me to figure out how to be me within this lifestyle. Every decision we make and every scheduling choice revolves around my husband’s service. Trying to find myself has been one of my greatest adventures yet!

  14. While I am not a military spouse I can relate to having a husband who works a ton and being far from family. I have so much respect for military spouses!

  15. (Reading this while babysitting my granddaughter for the week in Clarksville – right down the road from Ft. Campbell!) After reading your post, I’m compelled to say thank you for YOUR service to our country, too. 🙂

  16. I cannot imagine what it’s like to have a loved one in the military!! 4 deployments?!! I just couldn’t do it. Kudos to you and thank you for being open and vulnerable with us!

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