I’m a seasoned military spouse looking to show independent women that they can flourish while navigating the military community.
You’re a new military spouse, recently graduated and married to your high school/ college sweetheart. You’re in a new town without your friends or family. You’ve left your job that you loved (or at least liked) and now you’re struggling to find a job, any job, that will help you provide for your family that also works with your husband’s schedule. Your best friend (let’s face it, your only friend) is your husband and he is working ridiculous hours. At best, he’s working 12 hour days, at worst you haven’t seen him since June. You are in desperate need of some semblance of normalcy or even a friend. But how do you find one of those? Do you have to figure out what you even like in a friend? What about what you like in you?
I get it. Oh man, do I get it. This was my life story 10 years ago. And thanks to the military life cycle, sometimes it still is my life.
I have been navigating the military community as a spouse for the last 10 years. I’ve been through 7 homes during that time period. My husband has deployed 4 times and I count myself lucky that it hasn’t been more. I have several degrees and am a stay at home mom. That decision wasn’t easy… and sometimes it’s been downright costly. Every few years (or 18 months) I find myself in a new house, in a new city with no friends. I have to figure out how to participate within social groups within my husband’s unit, how to do things I like, how to be a decent mother, and how to do it all while it feels like the power isn’t entirely in my own hands. Thanks Uncle Sam!
Every week you will find posts related to how I’ve managed to survive military life. This will NOT be a spouse’s handbook. These are my thoughts and opinions on everything I encounter. From dressing for a military ball to joining the FRG to befriending non-milspouses. But most of all, about being a person completely formed and well-rounded, independent from the military while carrying the knowledge that I have a Dependent ID.
Currently my family lives in a quiet suburb just outside of Dallas. I am 32 years old and I have two children, ages 3 and 15 months. I am momming so fricken’ hard right now. Between my threenager and trying to detach the baby from my hip, my days are FULL. My husband is currently fulfilling an independent duty assignment and sometimes I feel like I’m learning the ropes all over again. Did I mention I’m also 6 months pregnant?! While many of my hobbies have fallen to the wayside, what I have not lost and plan on never losing is ZUMBA!! Man, I love to shake my tail feather. I even got licensed to instruct last year!! Leading my own Zumba dance party is terrifying and exhilarating!! I’ll admit that the decision to become licensed greatly focused on my desperate need to have something that was just mine. Becoming a milspouse took away so much of my sense of self. Momming robbed me of what was left. Volunteering, Zumba, and even this blog, are all my ways of reconstructing the badass that I used to be!